This was 7 months, 14 days ago

another vision, here.

another vision, of a beautiful life, of a way of living, of joy, of a simple joy and delight in each other, of a kind of simplicity and beauty, of children, of the work that is present currently, etc etc

I want to record this moment and look back upon this, this brimming heart, this gratitude for friends, this pride at them, this joy at the ways our lives bend and wriggle, the kinds of paths we take, the choices we make, the people we are at the heart of it all, the ones we love, the ways in which we connect, the regrets we hold, the desires we have. p & j, and e & d, and an evening talking about our lives. is this not what I wanted? is this not what I wanted?

this is, here it is, an evening, in which we are older, talking about our lives, looking back upon what happened. what kind of life do you want to live, j asks me, and without hesitation I answer, it arises straight out of me like an arrow emerging from my throat flying straight into the sky, here it is, and am I not in it already? am I not here, I ask - am I not here, here, here? is this not it?

what more could I want? I am moving, growing, going, being, this path, on this pathless path, finding and discovering. what I know now is what truly matters, and I say to p, this is the work, this task of growing others, of care, of joy, of hilarious delight in the ways people are, this is the task, this is the task, this is the task.

to sit with that presence, yes I am, yes here I am, with a kind of love; here I am, here I am, here I am. thank you, friends, I am proud of you, I love you, I am excited for you, grateful to be witness, grateful to suddenly realize that I will experience a friendship at the level of a lifetime, in deep gratitudes in these ripening evenings, in these moments full of questioning and uncertainty at how the world may turn, as we sit with each other, full of love.