holy shit holy shit forgot that I had written this, more than five years ago, when I went to india. oh oh oh oh oh.

July 18, 2004, 6:41pm.

list

cricket and puppies and oreo the dog.

sharp car horns and child beggars and stares on the street.

1500 languages and cows in the street and the rawness of a motorcycle ride and a ceiling fan that squeaks and having the power blink in and out at night and dreaming of hamsters drinking gatorade. Drinking a five-rupee ten-cent rupee and a sixty-cent latte or eating a samosa after playing soccer and eating a masala dosa at an Indian fast food restaurant. Playing guitar in a Christian church and feeling a dog one month old gnaw (softly) on my wrist and later hearing it whimper outside; painfully avoiding child beggars who will helplessly bite at your dying conscience. Giving money away as heavy coins and later realizing that you gave four cents away when you could have just as well given four dollars. Avoiding the rain at night and meeting strangers in a foreign place, or foreigners in a strange place; exchanging email addresses then running in the rain in the middle of an Indian city with American people trying to find a cafe to meet some Ugandan and Indian friends.

Getting used to the fact that it takes two autos passed by to find one auto driver that won't cheat you. Smiling at myself watching two Americans haggling loudly with a street salesman selling fake watches and the semi-existent crowd watching them. Talking to people and noticing the way in which I explain myself as 'Living in Korea but studying in the US only'. Passing a young heifer on the street and hoping that it doesn't get hit. Finding TURBO buttons on computers slow enough to need them; taking an hour before fully understanding what an over is in cricket. Going to an STD/ISD booth to call across the world; Finding that Bangalore is like its power sockets. Seeing large LG signs and finding Hyundai and Daewoo cars in the streets; marveling at the dare that a Porsche driver would posess in order to drive his car in this traffic. Finally being able to recognize the word 'India' in Hindi, eating with the right hand and not caring about the introductory traveler's diarrhea that would probably come later. Eating a fresh mango for the first time and walking amidst stretched pigs and butchered cows and flower garlands and fourty-cent goldfish in the market. Discovering that meals are labeled 'Veg and Non-veg'; looking at KFC ads that advertise Veg Thalis; Trying to read a Korean email on a computer and wishing desperately that all that Unicode gibberish could mean something again. Eating my second lunch in a restauraunt with four curious waiters waiting on me at the same time; discovering that fish curry was not only made of fish but also notoriously spicy and would sink to the bottom of your stomach and still sizzle within. Feeling the bounce of an auto going 'home'; watching the construction workers across the gate and watching them watch me walk inside. Eating dinner and feeling night wash over. Going to an internet cafe and disabling keyloggers before signing in. Walking along the street and watching a dispute between an auto driver and a truck driver grow into a crowd of bodies watching this exchange. Passing by briefly the scene of a motorbike accident and seeing someone kneeling on the ground while someone helps him up. Eating a red banana for the first time. Mentioning chapati and seeing these two girls break into a wide smile. Discovering that alone you float for the first few days in freefall; watching silently these American guests during breakfast and treading softly on the ground later lest I become unaware of my own ignorance. Thinking in rupees and not taking pictures until today; being dropped in front of the gate at midnight and walking in hearing the watchman's hourly whistle to another watchman. Falling asleep and waking up because I dreamt that I woke up late. Crying in my sleep trying to smash a vending machine in; waking up and realizing that I had woken up. Digging around in the old directories of my computer and finding unsent half-written emails and chat logs and old bad english essays.