more and more I feel viscerally that those phrases, "take care of your health", 몸 조심해라, eat well, things like that make more sense, are more tangible and immediate. everything is the body and everything comes from the body, and of course at twenty-two nearing twenty-three I do not feel this yet, do not know this yet.

it's as if the mind-body duality, descartes' bracketing, all of the cartesian separation is this undying struggle to separate the mind away not necessarily because it is eminently possible (it may be) but because it is thought not to be, borne out of a monstrous pessimism, almost. I have this image of philosophers and thinkers raging against the night, knees giving away, back bending over, and writing desperately to render a world anew.

what is this gentle preoccupation with thinking about worrying about getting old? maybe it's because I feel the invincibility of my youth so wholeheartedly, how I don't know that I don't know -- and not only do I not know, I know that even the attempts at knowing not-knowing will fall flat. I am still here and I am so nimble, lithe.