This was 13 years, 1 month, 15 days ago

sometimes it's okay, and sometimes it's not, and sometimes I'm stuck, and sometimes I'm going, and lately more often than not I feel held, stuck, on the expanse of a wide field without knowing which way to go, and its because I feel viscerally the size of the sky. what I need to do is to talk a walk, "take a line for a walk", as paul klee said, just go and progress, and wander around.

personally for the past few years I've been visualizing progress and change and thought as a journey on a plane, on a landscape of events, a mountain over there, a valley over there. maybe what you want is a sunny prairie. maybe you want a bunch of craggy rocks. either way, there is no certainty, no linear line of progress, but even so there is wandering. which way do you go? over here, or over there? do you have to loop back around? and so on and so forth.

in ten years this will all have been hazy memory. in ten years I will chuckle to myself and recognize the same patterns, and I would have just have told myself to make something and be proud of it, to flex my muscles and feel the fibers firing, to know the joy of articulation, description, thought, system, and creation, to make and to make and to make. calculus integration is the technique of aggregating mathematically minuscule areas under the curve in order to find the total area. everything ever made is also an aggregation of the epsilon, the minuscule, the little sliver of x that is multiplied, added over a series of time and space in order to get somewhere. the epsilon of the evolution of a biological species is the genetic mutations that occur of the copying-over of chromosomes. action generates, generates, generates error and thus new value. make and make and make and eventually add it all together.

remember this, me. good morning, i say.