this desk is perfect, looking out the window at this river of a bqe, layers of greenery in front of my eyes, a suddenly bright sign in the window

--

to resume my own conversation with myself on a bicycle.

this gorgeous summer, gorgeous, dear friends coming and going, friends leaving town for good, or at least the near future: for cambridge, san diego, tivoli, japan, chicago. warm wind blowing through my hair, right now, and I know that some may have their A/Cs up on full blast but it is a gorgeous cool night right now for me.

maybe my contentness exists in proportion to the amount of wind at any given moment.

--

so. here I am. it is as if, having come back from india, the constituent parts holding together a world exploded into the million different fragments that they were originating from, many different components and pieces scattered together on a ground. You look, and you say: what for? why this? where does this go? how does it fit into my life? with what certainty do I bring it into my being?

everything challengeable, everything challenged. everything questionable, everything questioned.