This was 12 years, 1 month, 8 days ago

honestly, watching someone dance in the midst of their youth, in the midst of my youth, through a video posted online, all I can think of is:

there are things that are solid, and there are things that are fluid, and there are things that last for a long time because they are solid, and then there are things that will last forever because they are fluid, like they will last forever the same way that gestures do, movements, dances, little turns of the head, forever emblazoned in memory,

(I mean, after all, what is information if not the memory of movement at a micro scale, magnetic fields flipped this way or that, representing information, this way or that?)

and I chew on the inner lip in the solid understanding that it is worth it to be loose a little, because things always grow solid; it is important to be unyielding a little, because systems always induce their own kind of change. it is important to be happy with yourself. it is almost spring, or rather it is spring, because spring is always defined by the condition of having-it-almost-be-spring, the condition of clutching your clothes around you because you overestimated how warm it would be tonight, the condition of looking around joyously and looking forwards to a summer not-yet-having-past, of voices outside,

and right now it seems: in the end the only thing valuable is just reckless rawness. all things must come from careful calculation and reckless rawness, in just the right doses, but not so much anything in-between.